This last year I would say was the hardest and best year of my life. I am blessed beyond words and beyond even my comprehension. Sometimes it helps me to equate my life to an object. My life I would equate it to a snow globe. Every time the snow would settle the Lord would shake the globe again. The last couple months have been a HUGE growing process for me. The other day my counselor (yes I see a counselor, all healthy people do) "Who is Brittany?" Laughing I answered, "I'm still getting to know her."
My whole life I have thought I was to be one way or another, never really taking the time or giving myself the space to figure out who I am or who and how God has made me. Insecurities pouring out, imperfections, mistakes and areas to grow all too apparent. What does one do? Well originally I thought I had to change everything. Change Brittany since she seemed to be the problem. Go back to my old ways, keep to myself, close up and just live my life never needing anyone or anything from anybody. People can't hurt you if you don't have people in your life right? But then I realized something, what if God didn't want me to change but embrace who I am. What if instead of trying to changing my faults, weakness, strengths and qualities I learned them, embraced them and actually owned them. What if God was trying to introduce me to someone very special, very unique, what if He was trying to introduce me to well me?
I have always known who I was to and for other people. I am the stable one, the giving one, the solid one, I am the one you come to talk through problems and who God talks to with answers. It has always been easy for me to be the person people need. Then a question came up, what about what I need? What about who I am as an individual as a whole. I think that this past year little by little God has been peeling away the layers so that I can see how and who He has made me to be. Admitting that I am scared has never been more of an understatement but I must admit there is something quite exciting and freeing about this discovery stage. I don't know exactly how it is going to go or what we will uncover BUT I decided about a month ago to change my perspective on life. Life will no longer live me I will live it.
So now it is hey if I'm gonna learn who I am, as foreign as that may seem I'm going to do it in style, with pizazz and with gumption. If I am going to do something I don't do it half heartedly that has never been me, I am a very passionate person (something someone once pointed out to me). So why not discover myself in a way that is fun, with style and let whoever wants to join me for the ride come along? You never know what the gem looks like until it is dusted off, buffed and polished anyway right?
My whole life I have thought I was to be one way or another, never really taking the time or giving myself the space to figure out who I am or who and how God has made me. Insecurities pouring out, imperfections, mistakes and areas to grow all too apparent. What does one do? Well originally I thought I had to change everything. Change Brittany since she seemed to be the problem. Go back to my old ways, keep to myself, close up and just live my life never needing anyone or anything from anybody. People can't hurt you if you don't have people in your life right? But then I realized something, what if God didn't want me to change but embrace who I am. What if instead of trying to changing my faults, weakness, strengths and qualities I learned them, embraced them and actually owned them. What if God was trying to introduce me to someone very special, very unique, what if He was trying to introduce me to well me?
I have always known who I was to and for other people. I am the stable one, the giving one, the solid one, I am the one you come to talk through problems and who God talks to with answers. It has always been easy for me to be the person people need. Then a question came up, what about what I need? What about who I am as an individual as a whole. I think that this past year little by little God has been peeling away the layers so that I can see how and who He has made me to be. Admitting that I am scared has never been more of an understatement but I must admit there is something quite exciting and freeing about this discovery stage. I don't know exactly how it is going to go or what we will uncover BUT I decided about a month ago to change my perspective on life. Life will no longer live me I will live it.
So now it is hey if I'm gonna learn who I am, as foreign as that may seem I'm going to do it in style, with pizazz and with gumption. If I am going to do something I don't do it half heartedly that has never been me, I am a very passionate person (something someone once pointed out to me). So why not discover myself in a way that is fun, with style and let whoever wants to join me for the ride come along? You never know what the gem looks like until it is dusted off, buffed and polished anyway right?
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