I was thinking about going to church with you and checking out Christianity....

" So I have been thinking and I don't think Catholicism is for me. I was thinking about going to church with you and checking out Christianity." She said to me at brunch one Sunday. This is a dear friend of mine we'll call her Sam. Sam grew up in a culture where catholicism was part of life but she never got a chance to explore why she believed it. She had Christians around her that judged her and separated themselves from her because she did not believe and hold to the standards they had placed for themselves. Sam never experienced the loving Jesus that the Bible talks about. Due to those experiences Sam was very against Christianity, until she met my family. Sam and I met in our preteen years and as we have grown into adulthood we have nurtured that relationship and she remains one of my closest friends.

"When are you going to go to church next?" She asked me. Elated I began to talk to her about the differences between Catholicism and Christianity and the differences between legalistic Christians and Jesus loving Christians and even got to share the gospel with her. Sam asked if I would walk through this journey of exploration with her. She promised nothing other than to check it out. 

I have know Sam for about 12 years. I have prayed for Sam for 12 years. I have walked through this exploration with many people but I did not think I would be walking through this with her at this point in our lives. Sam does acknowledge there is a higher power and prays to God every day. Something she would not have done even 5 years ago. When we talked about why she asked me to go through this journey with her she said this: "who better to walk through this with me then someone who literally does this everyday for a living." 

This is what you give to. This is what your support does. It takes the gospel to every tribe and tongue whether in your own back yard or on the other side of the world. From the bottom of my heart thank you! Thank you for continuing to give. You make this possible. YOU are the reason I get to have these moments. The Holy Spirit has chosen you! I am blessed to be a part of the ride with you! 

Prayer Requests: 

1. Pray for Sam and I as we walk through the next steps of starting to check out churches. 

2. Prayer for my health issues. Recently I have started having a few issues. Nothing major but they are effecting me. 

3. Prayer for our team to grow! I am looking for and inviting more ministry partners to be a part of our ministry that God has entrusted to us. Prayer for them as I invite them would be great. 

4. Prayer for my living situation. I am starting to look for apartments and roommates. Pray for provision as moving is extremely expensive these days would be appreciated more than you know.

Truly, Madly and Deeply His,

Brittany

https://give.cru.org/0622002

The Father's Day aisle: a different perspective

It seems like no matter whether it’s 2004 or 2014 the aisles at the market are filled with cards, ties and razors. Most flock to pick the perfect gift for their husbands and fathers but for these eyes there is a different experience. 

It has been 16 years since I bought my last father’s day gift. This year is unlike others. Walking down those aisles has brought great sadness. There are reminders everywhere that my dad parties in Heaven with Jesus, his residence for the last 16 years. 

In the last few months there has been a continual resurfacing of this topic. I am a daughter who has lived without her father for some of the most pivotal times of her life. My dad will never meet the man I am to marry one day. He will never meet my children. He will never teach them soccer or make them milanesa. 

Deep would be the one of the words I would use to describe the pain that one feels when they experience a loss. What or who do I lean into in this loss, this pain? Tragedy has the ability to become one of the only ways you can identify yourself if not dealt with.

I can still recount that day oh so vividly. It was the day life changed forever. It was the day a 16 year old girl watched her father leave this earth and join the Father in Heaven.

I can't tell you why this year is harder than most. As the tears fall comfort overwhelms me. “We have to deal with this. I want to fill that void that he left.” A sweet soft voice whispers to me. “ I want to be the one to protect you and show you how valuable you are. I want to show you how a man should treat you, how I love you.” All words have been my feelings inside over the last few months. 

With the most amazing mother who did the job of two parents I am more thankful than I can ever convey. Without her I can't imagine where or who I would be. Please don't misunderstand my words as ungrateful. A girl needs her dad. 

What I do know is I belong. I am loved. I am His. It is a hard road of faith but it is a necessary road.

So this father’s day as you buy your presents, send your cards or make your phone calls know that those moments won't last forever. One day he could be gone. Treasure the blessings.

My story is unique and different from any other. With these eyes I see the world and people. With these eyes I see the Father’s Day aisle. 

"They don't see me as a person"

"What's your name?" I asked her but she would not look up. "Angela" she said. "Would you like a bag?" I asked. "Yeah" and as she took the bag mumbled under her breath. " I don't know why you guys gotta fill the bag. Can't just give us the backpack..." She got in line, got her food and sat down with her dog for dinner along the gate on the sidewalk in Hollywood just passed The Grove.

She had only one plate of food, a cup of soup and a giant bottle of water which she brought with her. Without ever looking up at anyone she began distributing the contents of the plate between her and her dog. Continuing to pass out these survival kits I would glance over only to catch her looking at me every now and then. 

As her pup ate some bread I made my way over. "Angela right?" "Yeah" she said looking up for a brief second of eye contact but with a wall up about 50 ft high. "Where you from?" I continued. "Texas" she answered with an I don't care attitude. "You live around here now?" "Yeah or where ever I can find a spot. You can't sleep on the sidewalks around here it's too dangerous. They try to steal from you. I was in Venice until my friend got picked up. Now I am just killing time waiting for him to get out." She shifts and gets a little more comfortable. I can see this ice queen, hardened by the days and nights of surviving the streets melting, lowering her walls of protection. 

We sat as she ate her meal which I believe was her first meal of the day and talked about her life in Texas why she came out to California and her day to day here. 

"You know they won't take you in a shelter if you have a dog? She is all I got, she has protected me and kept me safe and they won't take her. What am I going to do leave her? She's all I have." As she gives the pup more water. A sweet but older border collie mix is what she believes her to be. 

" She thinks I'm stupid sometimes. Everytime I get on the bike and am "alright let's go" she looks at me like again? Really? But we gotta move to the next spot because it would take all day to get across town otherwise, especially without this bike. It's hard finding a safe place to sleep. You can't sleep in the same place twice, really. Especially if people find out it's a good place to sleep. Sometimes I get mad at my friends cause it's like dude why would you tell them? Now we gotta go find a new spot! But you really don't have friends out here. People steal from each other, fight, do what they have to out here."

" That must be hard to live life like that." I said, knowing inside there is nothing I can say to match or bring comfort to what is being shared. "Yeah I mean it is what it is. My mom wants me to put my pup down and then it will be easier, I could go back home but... she's been with me protecting me for years. How could I do that to her? She's my baby!" She says as she starts to talk in a baby voice to her collie.

"People think if your hands are dirty then you aren't a person. That they are better then you. We're people too. Some of them are crazy yeah but we're people too. I just don't live like they do. There is some kind of hierarchy that they think is going on. It sucks. I'm not scum. You know you can't even sit on the sidewalk without getting a ticket here? I got one yesterday. Where I am from if someone is sitting on a sidewalk you invite them to your home and clean them up and feed them. No matter what they look like or who they are. I've thought a lot about this being on the streets so long and if only there was money and changing of perspectives around here things could change. But that isn't going to happen because where would the money come from? Who would want to help change stuff you know? One day, though if I come into money, one day!" She looks off into the distance. 

"It's funny really, this is the only time we actually get to be normal. Sit, no one's fighting or stealing from each other just talking, hanging out. This never happens. After we eat we will all scatter to find a place to go to the bathroom and then sleep for the night."

"Thank you for listening to me, you are sweet." The ice queen remained no longer. She hadn't realized it but she had been looking at me in the eyes telling me her story for the last hour. 

"Thank you for sharing with me. You didn't have to but you CHOSE to. I am honored really." She got up. "So what's in this backpack?" She asked. "Open it up and you'll find a lot of stuff in there. There's a hat, food, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, socks..."I take a breathe and she interrupts me. "Socks?!?!? Do you know how much these are worth on the street? They are worth a ton! Three dollars! What else is in here?" We went through the entire bag and she looked up at me and with humility said, "Man I totally gave you guys a hard time. I was the one who was talking crap under her breath about why you didn't just give us the backpack empty but you gave us a lot in here. " She admitted. "I know! You just running your mouth and you ain't even opened up the bag yet! I knew you would change your mind once you opened it." I sassed back to her and we both laughed. " Thank you, now I have two bags I own!"

As she got her things together and the sun started to set she looked at me. "Okay I better get going I gotta find a place to sleep for us tonight." Angela said. "Me too, I gotta take off. We will be here again in December if you are around." I told her. "December, okay. I don't know if I will but cool.""Thank you for hanging out with me today." I said as I went in for a hug which she seemed rather surprised by but responded with a full, real hug. "Thank you for talking to me. It's nice to have a normal conversation with a girl." "You take care." And off she went dog trotting behind her both with full bellies. 

I can't begin to describe to you the heartbreak and humility that comes with hearing these stories. I will be the first to admit I have gotten caught up in my own world these last couple months and my own woe's. To think that one conversation can change their day. Can make your troubles seem meaningless. It's a good slice of humble pie. We in our homes have an ability to change lives. We can see these hurting hungry people as just that, people. 

Angela told me she challenged her parents to take one bag and one sleeping bag and live on the streets for 3 days to see what she went through. I wonder how many of us would actually do that for perspective? I wonder how many of us would care? I wonder how many of us might see them differently next time? 

They get hungry just like us. They sleep just like us. They need clothes just like us because they are actual living breathing people just like us. All with a story to tell just looking for an ear to listen. Angela is 26 years old and she is only one of hundreds of thousands of homeless among Los Angeles and Orange County. I won't pretend like what I did was some noble act but what if we all did just a little more?

The Giving Spirit:

http://www.thegivingspirit.com/

The Center at Blessed Sacrament:

http://thecenterinhollywood.org/

The Midnight Mission at Skid Row:

http://www.midnightmission.org/

What does yours say?

It is interesting to me how we as people learn about ourselves. A joyous situation, a stressor, a traumatic experience all reveal who we are and what we have inside of us even to the deepest recesses of our hearts we are revealed, exposed, made known.  

To this day I continue to be amazed at how much I continue to learn about myself at the age of 31. I know, I know, I don't look 31 I accredit that to the hispanic genes. Thank you dad!

Yet still I learn, who do I think I am, who am I really and what makes me... well me. Over the years I have learned that I have gone from the hard edged, no mercy girl to a strong, yet very gentle woman that types before you. A persona, a protection mechanism really that I have put on for so long yet what lays behind this hard exterior is someone delicate someone very delicate. Someone who wants to be loved, known and understood.

It makes me wonder how well we really know ourselves or how self aware we really are. How much do we really know about what lays in the deepest crevices of our heart? How many people do we let back in there?

Who gets to see you for you? Who gets to love you for you? How many have you turned away? And if we are really honest with ourselves how many actually get to see the good, the bad and the ugly?

Our hearts and actions speak very much into who we are when people are and aren't looking.

What does yours say?

Do strong personalities know how to function in all circumstances?

" Brittany I am grateful for the way you are such a strong personality but can dial it in and approach everyone as their personality needs. Like with me you are more gentle because that is what I need. I so appreciate that about you!" Donna said as we danced in our seats at the Dodger's game. My love tank was just filled more by that simple comment yet it also got me thinking....

Do strong personalities know how to function in all circumstances? 

Early on in life I learned that I am what I like to refer to as an Alpha Female. With command as one of my top five strengths it's no wonder why I have a strong personality.

Strengths Finder's definition: Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather, you know that confrontation is the first step toward resolution. Whereas others may avoid facing up to life's unpleasantness, you feel compelled to present the facts or the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. You need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest. You push them to take risks. You may even intimidate them. And while some may resent this, labeling you opinionated, they often willingly hand you the reins. People are drawn toward those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have presence. You have Command.

Knowing my strengths has helped me these last few years as I have discovered myself, learned more about how I was created/ built and have a voice.

Recently I have had a few people inform me that they didn't know I have a strong personality. Since I am so go with the flow or don't step up and take charge in a situation that may be in need of leadership this news was a surprise when I started to describe myself.

It made me realize two things: 1. I am still more reserved and guarded with new people which I can attribute to my introverted tendencies and the respect of the group and the balance already established. 2. I have learned to reign in my strong personality to fit the occasion.

It's funny because I look back and see that there are so many instances in my life where I have just decided to take charge and run the show. Yet I can see the effect it had on said relationships and at times the damage that was done because of such a gift roaming wild and free.

So as I was thinking about that comment last night I realized, it isn't always the level of volume with which one speaks, or how many facts you have about the topic at hand, or how overpowering you are that makes you a strong personality. It is the way that you with that knowledge of your personality traits conduct yourself in each situation. Do you make the introvert with trust issues feel safe? Do you give enough energy and command to balance the extrovert with high energy? Do you give the introvert who is learning to find his/her voice the space to make the final decision? Do you let the extrovert who needs to lead to feel validated the path to lead your time?

Now hear me when I say I don't let others bulldoze me. However, I do see the value of empowering and loving people and encouraging them in their giftings and weaknesses to grow. At the end of the day deep down everyone just wants to be known for who they are, loved unconditionally and belong.
For me this is just one of the ways I show love.

To the ends of the earth

As an event planner of a non profit one of the motto's of my company is "until everyone knows someone that truly follows Jesus." As someone within the organization I haven't really looked at that vow until recently. It's funny how God can bring situations into your life to show you what you are and are not open to.

Recently God asked me, remember when you said " Here I am Lord send me?" Remember how you meant it back then? How much do you mean it now?

These questions slowly but surely have been more of a trend in my life. How far to the east and to the west are you willing to go for me? North? South? Would you go anywhere, do anything? It is so funny to have to process these questions at 31 because you think like Peter on that third, "Yes Lord!"

It is in the uncertainties and the trials then we tend to lean into a Lord that would ask us to be in the practice of leaning into Him not just in the trials but also the celebrations and moments of settledness.

I am 31, an event planner, rooted in Him yet to the end of my days,  I will go wherever He has called me to go and do whatever He has called me to do. Because I am His, He has given me a greater story then I could ever create for myself and in moments of fear and in moments of joy get to spend the rest of my life finding that story out. And if that means to the ends of the earth..... I let go of my nets...

Blessings upon blessings

Midnight, on a park bench alone with only the dead of night as his blanket he sleeps. The baby crying, tears streaming down her face.Her mother pulling her close trying to rock her to sleep because there is no food in the house to calm that aching tummy. A bedroom 6 feet by 6 feet housing a family of four.

How often do overlook? How much is taken for granted? In a world of wealthy and starving a world of leisure and lacking do you know what you have been given? I mean really given?

When was the last time you looked around at what you have been given in your life and was thankful? Not the kind of yeah that's nice but... no truly deep in the crevasis of your heart thankful? Living a life out of gratefulness and gratitude is a hard tension to maintain. Yet one that will help us realize the love given and shown to us. 

Do we even realize the sacrifice that had to be made for those blessings? We will never fully understand it but how often do reflect upon that sacrifice? There was one life and that life cost everything so that we can have our lives of blessings. 

I look at my life and am overwhelmed by each moment and everything I have and have been given. What about you? If you did a honest true survey of your life right now....

Who or what do the blessing(s) in your life look like?