Perspective unseen

In my relationship with the Lord I have been in a constant season of refinement. Yesterday at church they talked about strongholds. By definition strongholds are walls or fortresses around beliefs and emotions to protect us from further pain. An important part of healing and transforming the deep wounds, requires divinely pulling down the strongholds. As I sat there EMas (Eric Mason, a pastor) brought up the fact that deep wounds and hurts can create these strongholds. So we need to come before God and tell him our frustrations, disappointments and fears. Let Him see the heart and unbelief in certain areas instead of trying to hide it, because he already knows it exists. The tears begin to weld. For me this season of refinement is also a season of breaking. So tears are something I am now very accustom to. As I listen to a particular part of the sermon again, everything comes up. The frustration of the season, the inability to see what this season is for, the desires within my heart that are unmet.

My heart is where my strongholds lie. So I sat listening to the sermon again tears streaming down my face letting it all out. I have desired to be out of this season for over a year now and yet here I am. I have desired for a companion, husband, a teammate, someone to share my life, my walk with the Lord and my future with, yet I am single. I have desired for some stability in all areas of life yet I have a job only He controls and is walking me through trusting in His provision. I have desired a family, children one day yet I still cook for one, two if my roommate is home. I have desired to fully trust God with my heart,my hurts and my pains from this life so He can heal them yet I keep taking it back time and time again thinking this is taking too long or I can do it better. 

Just as I am working through the feelings and confessing them to the Lord "Soon" by Hillsong United came on. I was 

met by these words: 

Soon and very soon, I'll be going/ To the place He has prepared for me/ There my sin erased/ My shame forgotten/ Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love/ With unveiled face I see Him/ There my soul will be satisfied/ Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon/ See the procession/ The angels and the elders 'round the throne/ At His feet I'll lay my crowns my worship/ Soon and very soon

Perspective, I was met with perspective. In a moment of what could be utter hopelessness or getting caught up in blame and bitterness, I was given eternity. 

I was given sins erased, shame no more. I was given a second chance and the Holy Spirit. 

I was given the the ability to love people and see them differently. A love for those who do not yet know or have not yet seen, the glory that is the Lord. 

To me faithfulness, pursuing, loyalty and intentionality all show love. So He met me, right where I am, just as I am, like He always has and always will.