These days have been all too painful. Physical pain, is something I know all too well. Recently, the newest attack to my body has laid me up in bed in severe pain at times to the point of near loss of consciousness. No answers to date yet more tests ordered. When walking through this, frustration has been a frequent visitor until this week. Saturday night I spent it at home walking through all my recent trials with the Lord. Wondering why these trials? Why now? Why me? Then hope.
Heaven. Heaven is something the Lord has very gently been bringing up the last couple weeks. Mostly because as I lost my way this last year and walked through some very dark days, Heaven among other things was something I took my eyes off of. One can forget the temporary placement on this earth. Though it is something we as people with a relationship with Jesus have to look forward to, I forgot. Consumed by the trials of the moment what I have to look forward to, what is beyond the moment is what I took my eyes off of.
I think back to a tattoo my sister has that says "just passing through". That more than anything keeps popping in my head. Relief. Not physical, not necessarily emotional but spiritual. This tainted body run by pain tolerance and the gagging of energy levels is a loner. It's not the rest of my life just my right now because in Heaven I won't have allergies, sore muscles or potential organ damage. I will have perfection. Gazing upon the light too bright for human eyes, basking in a holiness the human mind will never be able to comprehend or even come close to wrapping our feeble minds around. Sure I have my earthly desires that I still struggle with and submit daily but one day, one day I will bow because before me will stand the Creator, the One who made me, formed each imperfection and each freckle. The One who knows how many hairs I have on this, the One who holds me as I have cried each mournful tear whether it be from pain, loss or sin. The One who gave me my deepest desires and so badly wants to love and bless me. That is the One I will meet stand before and praise. Until then I sit in this body treating it with the respect God has called me to but longing for perfection. Not the perfection of this world but the perfection I do not yet know, but will one day see.
Heaven. Heaven is something the Lord has very gently been bringing up the last couple weeks. Mostly because as I lost my way this last year and walked through some very dark days, Heaven among other things was something I took my eyes off of. One can forget the temporary placement on this earth. Though it is something we as people with a relationship with Jesus have to look forward to, I forgot. Consumed by the trials of the moment what I have to look forward to, what is beyond the moment is what I took my eyes off of.
I think back to a tattoo my sister has that says "just passing through". That more than anything keeps popping in my head. Relief. Not physical, not necessarily emotional but spiritual. This tainted body run by pain tolerance and the gagging of energy levels is a loner. It's not the rest of my life just my right now because in Heaven I won't have allergies, sore muscles or potential organ damage. I will have perfection. Gazing upon the light too bright for human eyes, basking in a holiness the human mind will never be able to comprehend or even come close to wrapping our feeble minds around. Sure I have my earthly desires that I still struggle with and submit daily but one day, one day I will bow because before me will stand the Creator, the One who made me, formed each imperfection and each freckle. The One who knows how many hairs I have on this, the One who holds me as I have cried each mournful tear whether it be from pain, loss or sin. The One who gave me my deepest desires and so badly wants to love and bless me. That is the One I will meet stand before and praise. Until then I sit in this body treating it with the respect God has called me to but longing for perfection. Not the perfection of this world but the perfection I do not yet know, but will one day see.
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